命中註定(Captured by Fate) 翻譯

AT4-TBH · 2013-05-09 17:03:59

AT4-TBH

Her wings were taperedas daintily as a falcon’sand her haunches were a graceful swoop.
她的翅膀是錐形的，像游隼一樣優美；她的臀部是一道優美的弧線。

我翻譯的句子竟然被採用了…
我不會的詞都是在電子詞典上查的，可以放心使用！（自從在英國和意大利學生對話後，我才知道我的英語這麼好… [嗝屁] 或者他們的太差…）

最后修改： AT4-TBH (2013-05-09 17:10:48)

龍爪翻書 · 2013-05-09 21:51:24

求教：He could see the edge of the fog spilling through the bright sunlight and the color started to fade.

As he watched, Cessira neatly back-winged onto the ground beneath him, but he could see the ground through her faded body. He could see the edge of the fog spilling through the bright sunlight and the color started to fade. He landed with a harsh thud near her and looked around at the landscape they had flown over. He tried to force his mind to see what he had seen just moments ago.
在他的注視下，賽希拉整齊的背翅碰到他腳下的地面，但他看到地面穿過她褪色的身體。He could see the edge of the fog spilling through the bright sunlight and the color started to fade.他在一聲刺耳的悶響中降落在她身旁，降落在他們剛飛越的景觀上。他努力逼迫他的頭腦去看見他前不久才看見的影像。
--------------------------------------
求教：Her form became more insubstantial next to him as he watched her settle on her hind quarters.

Now he could see it all dissipating into a fog as his reality returned to him and watched helplessly as Cessira faded. He could see the outline of her scales, but it was more a dream of a dragon then a dragon. Her form became more insubstantial next to him as he watched her settle on her hind quarters.
現在，他回到現實，他眼睜睜地看著如賽希拉褪色，看見一切消散成霧。他還能看見她鱗片的輪廓，但那像夢境而不像龍。Her form became more insubstantial next to him as he watched her settle on her hind quarters.

最后修改：龍爪翻書 (2013-05-10 21:13:45)

AT4-TBH · 2013-05-11 11:04:44

He could see the edge of the fog spilling through the bright sunlight and the color started to fade.
他可以看到霧溢出的邊緣通過明亮的陽光下和顏色開始褪色。
整理一下就是：他可以透過明亮的陽光看到霧溢出的邊緣，顏色也開始褪減。
Her form became more insubstantial next to him as he watched her settle on her hind quarters.這句真的不會了⋯

最后修改： AT4-TBH (2013-05-11 11:08:09)

龍爪翻書 · 2013-05-12 12:24:57

求教：
He had found himself bumbling and felt every year of his youthful age.
In the midst of battles and fallen families he had tried to woo her.
And on the night that she had come into season and risen, he had been one of the first off the ground.
------------
That had been the first time he had found himself facing the rage of a female who felt insulted, though he could recall clearly it was not the last. Her sharp insults and sudden burst of outrage had made him shrink down as if he were a hatchling. He who had been chosen by the Council to treat with the wyrms and had dined in the great halls of the wyrms! He had found himself bumbling and felt every year of his youthful age.
這是他第一次面對一位感到被侮辱的雌性的憤怒，而且他清楚的記得，那不是最後一次。她尖鋭的回話和突然爆發的憤怒使他無地自容，彷彿他還是個幼龍。他曾被理事會(Council)選為代表，要在雙足飛龍的雄偉大廳與他們一同用餐。He had found himself bumbling and felt every year of his youthful age.

In the midst of battles and fallen families he had tried to woo her. He had been as clumsy as a newly hatched drake, but he had done his best. And on the night that she had come into season and risen, he had been one of the first off the ground. He had challenged the other males for his right to her and won. And oh the glory that he had won for both of them! They had flown well together. Yet he would always recall her first swift flight and the darting of her lithe body against the winds. His beautiful sparrow.
In the midst of battles and fallen families he had tried to woo her. 他笨拙的表現像剛破殻的幼龍，但他已盡了最大的努力。And on the night that she had come into season and risen, he had been one of the first off the ground. 他為了她，向其他雄龍挑戰並取得勝利。喔，這是他為他們倆所贏得的榮耀！他們一起飛行。然而他會永遠記得第一次看見她時那敏捷的飛行和在風中穿梭的輕盈身影。他美麗的麻雀。

shiningdracon · 2013-05-14 14:19:57

He who had been chosen by the Council to treat with the wyrms and had dined in the great halls of the wyrms!
這一句，我感覺語氣可再強烈一些：他可是曾被理事會選為代表，在雄偉大廳與古龍們一起用過餐的！
目的是與上句呼應，表達這樣一種意思：我可是一個很厲害的龍！但是在她面前卻羞愧的像個小孩子一樣……
另外，這裡的wyrms應該翻譯為古龍、元老龍一類的。英語有把成年龍稱為Dragon，把更老的龍稱為Wyrm的習慣。DND設定集裡是這樣的
參考： http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Red_Dragon
雙足飛龍是另一個詞：wyvern

He had found himself bumbling and felt every year of his youthful age.
這句我不確定，我猜是：青春時代的那些年，還真是出過不少洋相。

In the midst of battles and fallen families he had tried to woo her.
在殘酷戰爭中的間隙，他曾向她表白。

And on the night that she had come into season and risen, he had been one of the first off the ground.

come into season 是進入發情期的意思
進入發情期的那晚，她飛向天空，他第一個追上去（翻譯語言不夠優美，不知還能不能改進）

最后修改： shiningdracon (2013-05-14 14:43:32)

龍爪翻書 · 2013-05-14 18:10:04

shiningdracon

另外，這裡的wyrms應該翻譯為古龍、元老龍一類的。英語有把成年龍稱為Dragon，把更老的龍稱為Wyrm的習慣。DND設定集裡是這樣的
參考： http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Red_Dragon
雙足飛龍是另一個詞：wyvern

翻錯了，真不好意思，我檢查之後發現了原因，
我用google翻譯，wyrms 有兩個意思，1.巨龍，2. 麾下的冰霜巨龍
我看到冰霜就直覺的翻成雙足飛龍了 [害羞]

進入發情期的那晚，她飛向天空，他第一個追上去（翻譯語言不夠優美，不知還能不能改進）
覺得這段寫得很快，好像讀者都清楚龍族的習俗似的，
照字面翻就只有這樣，言下之意是他追求她的意願最強烈；
要優美大概要用意思來翻吧。

最后修改：龍爪翻書 (2013-05-14 18:15:31)

AT4-TBH · 2013-05-14 20:44:04

後面會不會有216（18）禁的內容啊。。。 [被雷]

Enedina · 2013-05-15 02:15:35

AT4-TBH

後面會不會有216（18）禁的內容啊。。。

問過作者，她說這個故事的目標讀者 (Target reader) 是較年輕的成年人。但沒有透露之後的新書會不會有18+內容。

shiningdracon · 2013-05-15 15:31:59

龍爪翻書

進入發情期的那晚，她飛向天空，他第一個追上去（翻譯語言不夠優美，不知還能不能改進）
覺得這段寫得很快，好像讀者都清楚龍族的習俗似的，
照字面翻就只有這樣，言下之意是他追求她的意願最強烈；
要優美大概要用意思來翻吧。

是的
畢竟“發情期”太直白了
come into season 是英語中含蓄的說法，或許漢語中也能找到類似的含蓄說法

龍爪翻書 · 2013-05-21 19:24:01

恩，我認為第2章最後算18+ [暈]

話說回來，我覺得女主角想錢想瘋了，居然想自己孵蛋 [汗]
既然皇帝對龍有興趣，她可以學「變身國王」卡通，把皇帝變成龍啊；要不然直接把藥賣給國王，這樣一定很好玩 [賣萌]

shiningdracon · 2013-05-24 13:36:27

看了已翻譯的章節大意，這個作者還蠻有想法的

龍爪翻書 · 2013-05-25 21:38:38

shiningdracon

畢竟“發情期”太直白了
come into season 是英語中含蓄的說法，或許漢語中也能找到類似的含蓄說法

目前想到求偶期，感覺好一點

龍爪翻書 · 2013-08-05 18:22:04

"He would see that she grew into her wings and name."的翻譯問題。

原文：She would grow. He would bring back a summer fattened buck for her to gorge on until her stomach was round and full. He would make sure that she was fed on the best that he could find as she grew. He would see that she grew into her wings and name. His mind felt dizzy at the idea of another flying by his side after so long. He pumped his wings higher in the air and executed a rolling twist in the clouds. It was a good day to be alive.

大意：他會為她帶回肥美的鹿，直到她的肚子又飽又圓。他會盡己所能的找最好的獵物提供給她。He would see that she grew into her wings and name. 他因為這想法感到天旋地轉，他振翅飛得更高、在雲中翻滾。這真是美好的一天，活着真好！

-------------------------------------------
"percrestnt names" 的翻譯問題，目前先翻成正式的名字

原文：
Dragons were never given percrestnt names at their hatching. A name was a powerful thing that would form a creature round it. Only the arrogant would assume that they should force a young creature to grow into a name of power. Hatchlings were given descriptive names that had little to do with personality and more to do with how they hatched. When she grew older she would find her true-name for herself, but until then she would carry her hatch-name.

最后修改：龍爪翻書 (2013-08-05 18:35:20)

shiningdracon · 2013-08-06 14:40:10

結合上下文，"He would see that she grew into her wings and name."可能是“他彷彿能看到未來的她長出翅膀、取得percrestnt name”
這裡的設定，幼龍有翅膀嗎？

龍爪翻書 · 2013-08-06 17:55:28

shiningdracon

結合上下文，"He would see that she grew into her wings and name."可能是“他彷彿能看到未來的她長出翅膀、取得percrestnt name”
這裡的設定，幼龍有翅膀嗎？

一出生就有翅膀。

每個字都懂，卻不知道意思，真的很不甘心。而且我想知道能讓一位父親飄飄然、天旋地轉的想法到底是什麼?

幻靈 · 2013-08-06 18:46:58

龍爪翻書

一出生就有翅膀。
每個字都懂，卻不知道意思，真的很不甘心。而且我想知道能讓一位父親飄飄然、天旋地轉的想法到底是什麼?

父親的想法啊...也許，父親是寄望兒女，最終可以以自已的能力，自力更新，青出於藍，不用父親擔憂，並為兒女羽翼豐滿和自行建立的名聲感到驕傲？ [賣萌]

shiningdracon · 2013-08-07 01:26:40

grow into - 長成

wings and name 或許可以理解為“學會飛行、取得percrestnt name”的修辭寫法？

我認為整句話表達的是“長大成龍”的意思

龍爪翻書 · 2013-08-07 20:17:15

shiningdracon

grow into - 長成
wings and name 或許可以理解為“學會飛行、取得percrestnt name”的修辭寫法？
我認為整句話表達的是“長大成龍”的意思

翅膀的確常被拿來譬喻，我有點想太多了

幻靈

父親的想法啊...也許，父親是寄望兒女，最終可以以自已的能力，自力更新，青出於藍，不用父親擔憂，並為兒女羽翼豐滿和自行建立的名聲感到驕傲？

這是父親的共鳴嗎? 原來有這麼多期許啊~

恩，明天8月8號
幻靈爸父親節快樂啊！ [微笑]

龍爪翻書 · 2016-04-13 20:04:59

因為有龍向奇幻基地推薦本書，所以我就將一樓的翻譯解除隱藏了

至於這兩者之間的邏輯性，主要是我的直覺吧~ [賣萌]

蓝羽龙 · 2019-03-12 08:57:20

[↑] @龍爪翻書寫道: 因為有龍向奇幻基地推薦本書，所以我就將一樓的翻譯解除隱藏了至於這兩者之間的邏輯性，主要是我的直覺吧~ …

[警惕] 有希望看到中文版？

MorksAllen · 2019-03-12 14:51:51

[↑] @藍羽龍寫道: 有希望看到中文版？ …

最後送交給出版社推薦訊息後只獲得官方回覆，然後至今仍無下文，我想是沒有可能了 [汗]

蓝羽龙 · 2019-03-12 16:11:08

[↑] @MorksAllen 寫道: 最後送交給出版社推薦訊息後只獲得官方回覆，然後至今仍無下文，我想是沒有可能了 …

完蛋 [傻笑] 只能靠自己了

巡津龍 · 2021-07-23 23:52:36

從看到這個項目產生接手的想法到現在已經有一個月了,本來想着在那邊中世紀龍介紹翻譯完之後再開始,但是又怕這樣就會永遠開始不了了.(可以放心的是,那邊還一直在繼續,目前我的部分進度到了48/65)

我的目標是翻譯出閱讀舒適流暢而儘可能完整地傳遞原文含義與情境的文本,那麼就不可避免地會增添一些"潤色"的內容,所以或許我的做法已經不能嚴格的稱爲翻譯而稱爲轉述更爲妥當.
在這裏的翻譯主要由我自己完成,但是也同樣會參考翻書/小契所進行的大意翻譯,在此已獲得許可,誠摯地對兩位先行者表示感謝.

由於版權和原文獲取的問題,這裏無法直接請其他龍幫助校譯,所以仍然會以上面的慣例將有疑義的句子發出討論.

巡津龍 · 2021-07-23 23:55:38

對於更新有兩種方案,第一種是和那邊一樣,攢夠一章再發布.好處是適宜流暢閱讀,缺陷則是難以及時討論修正.
另一種是每日(或者兩三日)更新一次,每次一小節,在成章後總括,好處是可以及時討論和避免棄坑,缺陷是閱讀體驗差.

不知道各位傾向哪一種.

以下是試譯的序章的前幾節,若不滿意翻譯風格或方式可以指出

最后修改：巡津龍 (2021-07-23 23:57:16)

巡津龍 · 2021-07-23 23:59:05

序章
序章
在這個世界初生不久的時候,廣闊的天空還很熟悉那些寬大的鱗翼,它們拂過空氣,在下方的大地上投下一片片光影.伊斯蒂亞有三塊宏偉的大陸,環繞周間的是深不可測的大洋.大洋中有着強勁的洋流與隱祕的海溝,與大陸的高山和平原遙相呼應.這個世界蒙受着四王的恩澤,伊斯蒂亞的造物主賦予了他們守護並維持陸地,天空和海洋的職責.
神靈們憑藉手中掌握的自然元素,加以對美的考量,創造了這世上的第一批生物.神靈給與他們的造物神智,以及堅不可屈的靈魂,以此賦予他們抵達世界任何一個角落的能力,讓他們將整個世界作爲自己的家園.神靈還賦予他們對伊斯蒂亞深入骨髓的體悟,以及作爲世界的守護者所需的智慧.神靈是創造了四王的聖父,讓他們與自己攜手統治.就算這些造物缺少謙卑,並不把他們的造物主尊奉爲神,這樣的代價相較於他們給世界帶來的秩序與守護而言也是微不足道的.
嚴冬與雪山被交給雙足飛龍(Ice Wyverns)掌管.他們生來能創造出風暴與雪暴,在春季從不造訪,黑夜長達數月不斷的土地上鑿刻出自己的巢穴.他們掌控着冬季的來往推移,給予萬物從烈日下解脫的恩惠.
大地被交給有着青銅色光亮鱗片的蟒龍(Earth Wyrms)掌管.這種無翼的巨蟒在地下深處建造家園,在那裏挖掘出巨型隧道,又用珍貴的寶石裝飾內部.他們是技藝高超的工匠,司掌着伊斯蒂亞的土地肥沃.他們保證穀物與植物茂盛而豐實地生長,以餵飽那些供獵食的食草動物.他們在地下家園中的舞動控制着大地的震動,決定着峽谷與溪谷的所在.
而天空與風暴則有幸被風暴巨龍(Storm Dragons)所掌控.天空中與山脈間隨處可見這種銀灰色的巨獸,以及他們多彩的眼瞳與廣振之翼翅.他們控制着給與萬物生命的雨水,還有吹遍整個世界的風.他們的飛舞可以終結焦灼大地的乾旱,讓河流豐漲爲湖泊.他們以飛行能力著稱,無論在多嚴酷的風暴中都能夠飛行,也是四王中唯一能適應任何氣候的種族.
大海則由蛟龍(Sea Serpents)主掌,他們在海岸的淺水灘上嬉鬧,也在大洋最深處騰躍.在他們中可以見到任何一種海水能有的顏色,從深藍黑色到最淺的青色.他們控制着潮汐涌動,養護着魚羣,使世界的每個角落都保有豐富的魚類.他們感知着月球的引力,按其漲落決定潮汐的規律.當他們在夜半歌唱時,神靈們也會在波濤之上歡悅地起舞.

最后修改：巡津龍 (2021-07-24 18:08:19)

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#40 2013-08-06 17:55:28 | 只看该作者

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#41 2013-08-06 18:46:58 | 只看该作者

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#42 2013-08-07 01:26:40 | 只看该作者

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#43 2013-08-07 20:17:15 | 只看该作者

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#44 2016-04-13 20:04:59 | 只看该作者

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#45 2019-03-12 08:57:20 | 只看该作者

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#46 2019-03-12 14:51:51 | 只看该作者

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#47 2019-03-12 16:11:08 | 只看该作者

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#48 2021-07-23 23:52:36 | 只看该作者

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#49 2021-07-23 23:55:38 | 只看该作者

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#50 2021-07-23 23:59:05 | 只看该作者

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